Sunday, April 28, 2013

A Letter on Negativity

The internet is a wonderful thing. It's a tool for people to connect, for like minds to work together, and the source of an infinite amount of inspiration. I've met so many beautiful people through it. But for every 100 kind, amazing souls I come across, there is one wretched being who seems to prioritize ruining my day. And, unfortunately, that one horrible person weighs me down more than they should. When someone takes the time out of their day to go out of their way and insult you, it's a scary reality that someone dislikes you that much, especially for such petty and small things.

At first, these situations would make me feel righteous indignation. I'd be riled up, defending myself and my position and trying so hard to prove where I'm coming from, pulling my hair out because I don't understand why some people can't see things from my perspective. But now, I'm just weary. It's taxing. Cyber bullying makes me feel more bad for the bully than for myself--it makes me sad that someone feels so much offense and anger towards someone/something that doesn't involve them at all. I shudder seeing some of the ghastly things people can bring themselves to say about others. I'm not against disagreements and arguments. I think people have a right to speak, just like I do. But when we can't be civil, when we can't be mindful of others, it's terribly disappointing.

I think people tend to forget I'm a real person behind this computer screen, phone screen, whatever. I go to school, I work, I laugh, I love, I like to sing, I rescue dogs, my favorite candy is Sour Patch Kids, I get a nervous tick sometimes, I have a bad right wrist, sometimes I fight with my parents, I have ghosts of my past, my most-loved pastime is reading in bed--I am not one-dimensional! I'm just like you, I have feelings, I'm not a robot.

This issue isn't just about me. It's so much bigger. We all experience this; even the ones who dish the hurt experience it. When you're mean to someone else, it's a double-edged sword. You're hurting someone and hurting yourself. Negativity shrouds your heart in a cloud of black and it eats away at your soul. Does it make you feel better about yourself to put others down? Do you feel big when you say hateful insults? I hope it's worth it for you. I hope it fills your void instead of deepening it.

You can't get rid of your sadness by lashing out and trying to make others feel sadder in comparison. I read somewhere that the only way to erase sadness is with happiness. The only way to delete negativity from your life is by being positive. I try to follow this as much as I can. Winning the battle doesn't matter to me as much as my peace of mind does.

It's so hard to read hateful comments. They are few and far between, but when they come, they come full force. I can almost hear the author's teeth gnashing. Why does what I do anger you so much? Why does what I look like, what my tattoos are, what I'm doing on Instagram irk you to the point of making a fake account to harass me (paradoxically telling me I should get over myself and that the world doesn't revolve around me, whilst using an account specifically created for me and only me)? Why, why, why?

At first, the comments are a heavy blow, it's inevitable. But then I remember...
They can't tell me who I am.
They do not know me.
They do not know my story.

I hope this message reaches someone out there who is being bullied and needs something to help them stand up again. And I hope this message reaches someone who is bullying.

I can't stop negativity, but I can put a dent in it.
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7 comments

  1. awww don't worry girly!
    you are still who you are!
    they can hurt your feelings by words but they cannot change the people who support you and love you!
    you are strong and beautiful on the outside and inside!
    you do not have to prove anything to those people because if they can't feel your words, they won't understand you forever.
    just keep doing what you love and be the real you!
    XOXO

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  2. Your letter really touched me. It will reverberate with me for the rest of my life. I agree with you that the internet is can be a wonderful space to communicate with others who share the same interests, to be inspired, to create something, or to learn something new. Simultaneously, it could be a mechanism to erase and destroy a person's spirit. I think that your letter was very personal and meaningful to me. I'm glad that you took the time to shed light on an issue that is often disguised under our eyes , where people just ignore it and let it float on the internet, which is no different than saying that "it is okay" or acceptable. Thank you for this valuable letter.

    -Jo

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  3. As a fan, I have read your posts before and honestly you have a way with words that is so captivating. After reading this post, it makes me realize why I take the time to read what you write.

    I feel much of the time within fandom we have this idea of who are heroes are. The people we idolize through screen or other mediums and we create these ideas of them, because we admire what they do. There have been times where some people will say to kill their idols, or its best not to meet them, because somewhere between the reality and the fantasy lies a truth we may not be able to handle. That our ideas of them and reality of who they are won't match.

    Then I read something like this, where it shows me that the ideas we create and the reality of who they are may actually coincide. Though I appreciate the aesthetic of your photos, its your writing that really captures my heart (in a appreciative way). You write so honestly and grandly that it's no wonder why you are a wonderful person. Not to say your photos are any less captivating, your writing is the voice that compliments your image.

    You portray an honesty that is appreciated by many and sadly is ridiculed as well. You are braver and bolder then many will be. To honestly, shamelessly, portray yourself is nothing short of amazing and it has its place in this world. Living in a place where the paranoia of fear does keep us separated, you choose to bridge that with art and positivity. You share photos of how you want to be seen, you use words to soothe, relate, and share yourself with thousands upon thousands of strangers and friends alike.

    Our world is greater and grander then we can ever fathom and in that vastness people are able to find you and that's such a mind blowing thing. Your positivity shines through. Its not that your doing anything wrong because someone once said if you have critics you are doing something right. Obviously people are reading and seeing you because they are making conscious effort to say something to you.

    Continue to be bold, to be honest, to be shameless and fierce because that is what makes finding you though various mediums a joy. Those who try to break you down still attribute to the testament to the right moves you are making. That's an issue with that person and not a reflection of how grand you are. You are you and you will continue to be as such regardless of how one tries to define you. But I hope for every critic, there is a sea of admiration and support willing to edify all the good you put forth.

    Smile like you mean it laugh because it's necessary

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  4. Of course you can stop the negativity by being positive, even get rid of it.
    The light does not have to fight with darkness. When you light the room, the darkness disappear.
    It is spiritual law that always works.
    The light removes darkness by simply being in position firm. You are the keeper of that positive light switch. The negativity comes to make you turn that positive light switch off. It comes as disappointment, failure, stress, depression, critics...etc. These are all cheap tactics of negative force trying to make people down to the drain.
    Do not be deceived. the negativity has NO POWER, it is just a big shadow of small dead animal. You laugh at the shadow, knowing the shadow can't do anything, ha ha ha!
    So keep the positive light switch higher! You are untouchable!!!

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  5. Thank ypu for being wonderful ~ for reminding us 2 not spread negativity without proper cause ~ and that the neutral senses are often undervalued... thank you for WEEZER, dino jr, husker du, iggy, ron asheton, some dead kennedys, pere ubu,particularly early stuff ~ samuel L, ~ nirvana,trans am and the expletive champs, david Lynch,mia and liv, bruce willis, black flag, jimi,kate dillon, ms free of course, and her man (if they need some friendly recording time during scottish holidays please call us ~()please tell us a band's just round the corner!) also cheers to bikini kill, L7, flipper for ha ha ha, for helping steve pistols Jones with male bonding, and amongst others the as~yet unparalleled shere hite...people can say what they like about the yank ees but some fruit are sweet as heaven and lang may yer lums reek ~ beltaine is coming and may all ancient true genes sing ~,peasSse out x x x mwahs from SCOTLAND x

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  6. "Cool post!
    Much love,
    Wengie
    www.wengie.com"
    "Keep up the great work on your blog! <3

    ReplyDelete

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