Millennial Pink, Internalized Misogyny, and Cute Shoes

What moves you? Is it a person, a place, a thing?

Right now, for me, it's a color.

My wardrobe is currently screaming Millennial Pink and I've found empowerment and reclamation of my femininity in it.

Pink used to feel too soft; too gentle. I am all too aware that it was my own internalized misogyny that kept me from embracing the shade. I used to hate being called girly, or even feminine. Society teaches us that women are weak and things women like are lesser than others (i.e. everything from "bitch drinks" to "pens for women"...because God forbid we use a normal pen!), and I drank the Kool-Aid for a while. Very problematic of me and I own up to it completely.

Not sure if it's my karmic retribution or whatever, but I am proper OBSESSED with pink now.

It's abundantly clear that you can wear a pink dress and ballet-inspired heels and still look tough as nails. I feel like a yung Dolores Umbridge in this getup (I mean, I hate her, but she was a powerful woman, haha).

Unlearning patriarchal standards never looked so goooooood.

Missguided dress / Deandri belt / Aldo shoes

Photos by Noel McGrath

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A Crossroads (+ I'm Hiring!)

I've been at a weird crossroads in my life.

I started blogging 10 years ago as an escape from real life, a way to fuel creativity, and to have a little space on the internet to call my own.

10 years is a long time. Things change.

The industry has waxed and waned many times over. Huge OG bloggers have altered their career paths and/or created exit strategies (some honorable mentions include Chiara Ferragni of The Blonde Salad and Leandra Medine of Man Repeller turning their blogs magazine-style and Rumi Neely of Fashion Toast creating a highly coveted clothing line).

With new platforms came new ways for creators to be influencers (Instagram didn't even exist when I started blogging, can you imagine that?). Oversaturation now abounds. When everyone's an influencer, is anyone an influencer? "App fatigue", a term that would have made no sense five years ago, became a real thing. Algorithms on Instagram and YouTube kind of screwed over creators who have been on the respective platforms since the beginning. I feel like my content is better than ever, and hardly anyone sees it, compared to before. Gone are the old days of growing two thousand followers a day and being featured on Instagram; numbers seem impossible to grow without the help of loop giveaways and other tactics. It's just a lot to keep up with. All of it.

In addition to that, I don't find the same satisfaction posting about what got me here in the first place. Cute clothes, pretty makeup, what version of avocado toast I decided to photograph and eat this morning. It all feels so...empty. I'm not knocking anyone who posts this, because I still do too (I mean, just look at the photos in this post), but I have so much to share with the world and I'm afraid of my only impression on you guys being this one-dimensional view of who I am.

I'm someone who fights for human rights. I'm someone who rescues animals. I'm someone who looks out for people financially struggling because heaven knows I grew up in their position. I'm someone who makes spectacularly ugly faces, who has 10,000 inside jokes with their significant other, who hates smiling but adores laughing, and who is bad at dancing and does it anyway.

There's the option of starting a YouTube channel. But that made me wonder...is it too late? I'm so far behind in that sphere. I'm not sure if you knew this, but I've been filming and documenting my life for YEARS. Like, since 2012 or so. At the conclusion of each video story, my own fears of starting too late kept me from putting those clips up.

All these things had kept my spirits down over the last year or so. People say numbers don't matter, but they absolutely do when that's how you make your whole living. However, I've luckily been afforded the opportunities to find intrinsic value in helping other companies grow in the digital space behind the scenes, which helps me stay sane and motivated immensely. It gave me room to just say, "Eff it", and do whatever I want on the internet. You'll notice a lot less in-your-face ads and cheesy product placement, because I'm posting a lot of things that I want to post, instead of whatever makes me money.

I finally feel freed up to extend that carefreeness and desire to create, without worry of numbers or stats, into the YouTube space.

This post was a half-vent/half-job posting, because with all that being said...I am looking for a video editing/graphic design intern for a PAID internship!

If you're a self-starting and motivated video editor and graphic designer, please email me at eugenie@feralcreature.com with your resume and portfolio--hope to work closely with one of you soon!

Missguided top / Glamorous pants / Sol Sana boots

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Denim Day

TRIGGER WARNING: Rape is mentioned in this post.

If you didn't know, April 26th of every year is Denim Day.

Denim Day began in 1999 in Los Angeles County, spreading throughout California, then across the United States, and is now a global event.

How Denim Day came about is a tragic--yet horrifyingly familiar--story. It begins in Italy in 1992, when an 18-year old girl was raped by her 45-year old driving instructor on her very first lesson. He took her to an isolated road, pulled her out of the car, forcibly removed her jeans, and proceeded to rape her.

She reported the rape. He was arrested and prosecuted. Years later, he appealed the conviction with the claim that the sex was consensual. The Italian Supreme Court overturned the conviction and the rapist was released--their reason was that because the victim was wearing very tight jeans, their (faulty) logic deduced she had to help him remove them, and thus, the sex was consensual. This infamously became known throughout Italy as the "jeans alibi".

The women of the Italian Parliament were FURIOUS. They launched a protest wearing jeans on the steps of the supreme court, and this protest was picked up by international media. Thus, Denim Day was born.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE AND NEVER AN INVITATION TO RAPE. All too often, we victims are blamed for being raped, sexually assaulted, harassed, catcalled...because of what we wear, how we do our makeup and hair, AND SOMETIMES EVEN OUR GENETIC MAKEUP THAT WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER, we are constantly being told we were asking for it. And even if we go to the police, we are shamed and blamed, and endure emotional violation and abuse all over again (which is why so many assaults go unreported).

It doesn't matter if our jeans are tight. It doesn't matter if our skirts are short. It doesn't even matter if a boob is out. Unless we literally ask for it, we. are. not. asking. for. it.

The stats gathered from those who did go to the police or opt to answer a survey are already sickening:

- 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape. (CDC)

- In 8 out of 10 cases, the victim knows the person who sexually assaults them. (US DOJ)

- 1 in 6 men have experienced abusive sexual experiences before the age of 18. (CDC)

- 1 in 3 women worldwide experience sexual and domestic violence in their lifetime. (WHO)

- Out of every 1000 rapes, 994 perpetrators will walk free. (DOJ)

- 1 in 5 LA Metro riders and 1 in 3 women at work report having been sexually harassed, and street harassment is experienced by 87% of women in urban areas. (POV)

Peace Over Violence's partnership with GUESS for Denim Day is 4 years strong and I couldn't be prouder. This isn't a paid post, this isn't an advertisement--this is a genuine post about a brand I admire doing its part to make a social change.

GUESS's highly influential reach amongst consumers and celebrities/influencers alike has made Denim Day and the overall education on sexual violence and consent (!!!very important!!!) an attainable goal the world over.

Get the conversation started at home and with friends, learn more about sexual violence prevention here and here, and let's work together to make this world a little bit safer for us all.

GUESS jacket / GUESS jeans / Public Desire boots / Stilnest x Alysha Nett bolo necklace

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A Girl About Brown

I told you I'd wear more neutrals!

I used to hate brown clothing, especially mixed with black. I'm not sure why, but brown was the #1 color I didn't want to wear. But my style evolved (and possibly grew up), and brown is here to stay in my wardrobe. This gorgeous ribbed sweater dress by a longtime favorite, Few Moda, is absolutely dreamy. It's casual and simple in the front while elegant in the back via a huge bow at the neck, and little details like a hem with lots of movement and unique sleeves go a long way.

I made the transition into brown more digestible for me with shoes and accessories in true Feral Creature fashion.

And who would I be without a little leather and hardware, anyway?

A quite literally fierce (and dare I say feral) bag combined with a sweet post-fetish O-ring cincher belt and patent leather shoes give my outfit all the attitude it needs.

This bag held surprisingly everything (except my camera, obviously), and these shoes held up easily through hours of walking through Soho cobblestone streets. NYC-approved.

Few Moda dress / Deandri belt (on sale for a limited time!) / Furla bag / Public Desire shoes

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Coachella 2017 Looks

Coachella 2017 was one for the books. It was, astoundingly enough, my ninth Coachella in a row. You'd think I'd be tired of it by now, but luckily with my job, I get access to cool events that help me escape the polo fields when the festival gets a little too overwhelming.

Also, a point to note: I actually had my first laser treatment for tattoo removal right before the festival, and I had no idea how hard it would be to dress with my ribs, stomach, and upper thigh covered! That was a big style challenge all last week. I'll tell you more about the tattoo removal process as we progress.

Here's a shoppable list of all my Coachella outfits! Links are below each look. :)

This was the look before all looks. I picked this top out (and immediately snapped it) at Revolve Social House. They invited me in to help prep my wardrobe for the festival. I love the billowy sleeve/off-the-shoulder trend combo making its way into spring attire.

Lovers + Friends top / Elizabeth and James jeans

My look on the way to the Guess house (is it that obvious?). I was stuck in the worst traffic driving to Palm Springs on Thursday. Normally, the drive would be an easy hour and a half--this drive took four and a half hours. I was about to go insane, and as soon as I saw the windmills (a sure sign of entering Palm Springs), I had to hop out of the car to stretch and shoot. I actually wouldn't recommend shooting here, though...I should have known, given the windmills, but these were probably the strongest winds I'd ever experienced. This was ONE good photo out of, like, 50.

Guess jacket / Guess tee / Guess jeans / Windsor Smith shoes

Day One's daytime look. I didn't think it was *that* amazing because I didn't pack the right things for this weekend, but I got a surprising number of compliments on it! Someone even called me Lydia Deetz, color me honored. I stuck with my dark tendencies and paired a gothy upper half with some loose printed pants.

Lack of Color hat / NBD bodysuit / Gold Hawk pants / Salar backpack

Day One's nighttime look. I got in the festival pretty late, so there was no daylight to shoot in. The only photo I have of it is in this very green setting (from my really fun job with Absolut), but you can see it clearer in the links below.

Pretty Little Thing top / Pretty Little Thing skirt

Day Two's daytime look. This was my favorite by far, and the one least like me, haha. Even Ellen was like, "Wow, you look so...NICE." It's so boho but I love it! I especially loved rocking my handmade bag I got on my Morocco trip. I can see myself wearing more neutral shades like these in the future.

Farm Rio dress / JustFab choker / Nashelle necklace / JustFab shoes

Day Two's nighttime look. By now I'm sure you get that nighttime looks are more litty and more comfortable. I actually got gifted this entire outfit the day prior at a party's gifting suite. The owners of the company were so kind and giving and I was touched when they said they'd been following me for years. I learned the hard way that nighttime would be extremely windy, so this longline bomber was so clutch.

RepentHaus bomber / RepentHaus jogger set

Day Three. At this point, I'm so exhausted from this weekend's festivities and I give my wristband away halfway through the day so I can chill at Revolve's party. When it ended at 7, my friends and I went home to the Guess house and made fish tacos. I think we ended the weekend right.

The Jetset Diaries romper / Lovestrength belt / Guess sunglasses

Which look was your favorite? Comment below!

xx

Cover photo by theTraveled

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